Monday, November 05, 2012

Slow Down and Enjoy...

The Stone fence is well fortified
How strange it is to live in an area where there is so much traffic. It is difficult to explain the road configurations where I live...there are four stop signs on the corner where our home is situated. If a driver is not paying attention, he might miss one of those stop signs...and then, if cars are coming from one of the other roads that intersects, two of which have no stop signs...there is more honking and vile language issuing forth than I have heard in a long time.

This fence is built behind the first Rock Garden, divided by a gravel walkway
Rain, a weather anomaly which residents here should certainly be accustomed to, makes the road, covered in Leaves and Needles from the Trees everywhere, slippery. One large white truck came barrelling down the main road and tried to make the rather sharp turn to one of the feeder routes, and ended up slamming against the Rock Garden outside of our Rock-fortified fence.

There are some mighty large Boulders making up that Rock Garden. And it was a mighty large crunch I heard when the truck hit the Rocks.

So it was with some trepidation that I wandered through the gate to have a look at what had just occurred. As I did, I saw the white truck back up from the Boulders, with quite a large, new dent in the side door, and take off very quickly, down the road. I imagine he was hoping no one had seen him, since he did not want to pay for any other damage than what he had inflicted upon his truck!

I went to see what the damage was to our Rock Garden. Three large Boulders had been displaced, but not badly. The main damage appeared to be on the truck, which came out the worse by far!

What amazes me the most about the intersection is that it has been as it is for years. There is nothing new, which might confuse drivers. The problem, as far as I can see, is that people drive far too fast on these small country roads. There are signs everywhere to slow down, take a wide turn around Horses and their riders, watch for Deer, children crossing...one would have to be blind not to see all those warning signs.

Golden Maple Leaves shine in the misty light of Dawn
There is even a sign that tells drivers to slow down and enjoy the many varied farms in the district. Slow down and enjoy...

I drive by that sign about once a week, as I drive to a pet store that has the treats Lucky can't seem to live without. And the part about slowing down and enjoying the sights, scenery and just life...well, that part has hit home with me. 

The slow down part, at least.

For the last few months, I have been going at top speed. I have ignored pain and all the rest of the goodies Fibro and Arthritis can give; sleep became elusive, and tiredness was just a part of every day.

I find I am out of energy now. I can't find any more. Most of the time, last week, I found myself sitting down often, staring into space.  

I don't have the time to do this! 

Apples from a grafted Tree in our backyard...three varieties!
There are still boxes to open, the family room still needs to be put together, doctors and dentists to find...and oh! things do have to be organized! This, on top of doing other activities I've promised myself...including writing more often, interaction on the web, visiting scores of places here in Victoria where I have not been for years, signing up for art courses, finding new plant nurseries to wander in...the list goes on and on.

Yet, I can find no inclination to do any of them.

I want someone to take my hand, open a box for me, unwrap the first innocuous item, and then tell me it goes on the third shelf in the left cupboard in the hall. My decision making is at an all-time low. 

I do recognize this feeling, though. In one way or another, I've gone through them before...after divorce, after Katrina's death, and after moving to a completely different part of the province. All very stressful times, some worse than others, of course, where one must get through the Storm using every last bit of energy one can find. 

There is a small creek somewhere under the Leaves!
And then, the clean-up begins...

But before the clean-up, before the rebuilding of self or home, there is a time where the heart and mind catch up with each other. Heart tells Mind to settle down, open up and receive the love pouring in from every corner, smile, laugh and dance.

Mind tells Heart there are things to be done. Laughing and dancing in joyful abandonment are not appropriate at this time...damn it, finish what has been begun... 

Most of the time, since all this began with our move, Mind calls the shots. Keeping my Mind on the work to be done was all I did for the last few months. Very little time was spent in feeling Heartful.

I was mostly Mindful. 

Heart, very recently, has begun to demand equal time. Time to miss our old home and friends left behind in the Cariboo, time to miss the first Snow and Cold there ( yes, even this!), time to mourn a little. Time to feel gleeful, as well, to have found a place to land that is uncanny in its familiarity. Time for spiritual practices, time to talk to the Trees and Shrubs that grow here with such abandonment, time to go visit the Beach.

The Horse Farm, seen through the back fence, on an early showery Morning
Heart, left to its own devices, would say Begone! to all the niggling, mundane things left to do, whereas Mind would say those other fanciful things will be there when the practical work is done.

Last week, I was balancing the two, along with resting my Body, which aches a little more than it did when I first arrived.

I have no schedule, really. I can do as I like. When the family room becomes too much of an irritant, I will do it...I will feel like it then. And I have decided that every day I will do something to feed my Heart's requirements. Remembering Balance is what I needed.

And today, outside with Lucky, I heard two cyclists riding by.   (There are many cyclists here. I see groups of them riding every day. The winding, narrow Tree-lined roads are perfect for them.) 

Super place for small children to play on their bikes!
One said to the leader...I have no energy at all...

And the other said...Yeah. I'm not doing the whole route today...

I'd guess that's me. I don't think I'm going to do the whole route today.

I'm going to try the first part of the title to this post...the slowing down part today.

And tomorrow...I'll begin to enjoy.              

32 comments:

  1. Bless your heart, Marion. In the time I've been reading your blog I've come to know you as a SOURCE of comfort and healing for your readers, someone who has a special gift for finding and pointing out the beauty in life's quiet moments. I wish you beautiful, quiet moments of your own now--as many as you need to replenish your energy and lighten your burdens. Rest, my friend, and let your heart rule for a while.

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    1. Thank you so much, Linda...I am trying, haha! On Sunday, I called an ambulance for Graham. He had another diverticulitis attack and was in hospital until late in the evening. He's recovering now, and I intend to slow down a whole lot today!

      There's a huge Tree just outside my front door who gives the greatest of hugs...xx

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  2. And if those wet leaves are dangerous for vehicles, imagine what they're like for bikes. I bike almost everyday, and it's scary this time of year.

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    1. My heart's in my mouth each time the cyclists race around this corner...some are quite cautious, but more are going insanely fast!

      It's all quite fascinating to me, someone who has not seen this many vehicles, bikers, horses, cyclists and walkers go by for ages! xx

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  3. Hi Marion, I can identify with the inertia part. I think we are all in a collective "not doing the whole route today..." I think we are all suffering from the storm that is raging inside and outside. I give myself permission to love the inertia. I can imagine how conflicted it is for you with a zillion things to do, and not feel like doing the whole route.
    The property looks enchanting. You are so blessed!

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    1. "I give myself permission to love the inertia."...I love how you stated this. I've been doing the same, and find it really, really works, no matter what I am giving myself permission to do. I've been trying to do it for years; it is only within the last while that angst and anxiety over whatever disappears.

      Yes, you are right...I feel extremely blessed! xx

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  4. We are all in a hurry sometimes, aren't we, forgetting to cherish the moments? With this crazy cold-one-day, hot-and-humid the next weather down here in Louisiana, I've been in horrendous pain day and night that nothing helps.

    Some days I cry looking at the dust accumulating around me and then I laugh thinking that one day I'll become that very dust. I still limp with my cane around the block a few days per week and drink in the changing leaf colors with awe...only then do I forget my pain and go outside my aching body.

    I love your write and how you embrace your humanity, pain and all. I hope you feel better soon, Marion. Love & Blessings!! xo

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    1. Oh, Marion...so good to know someone else who is so affected by weather. I am not accustomed yet to how stable the climate is here...it once was very stable. But lately, it's been everywhere. And I was also affected, body-wise, by the recent earthquake just off the north coast of Haida Gwaii. Some days are great, though, when everything aligns!

      Yes. Spending time with Nature during these times is absolutely crucial. I was completely absorbed in Nature when I lived in the Cariboo, and I have let that go somewhat here. I need to find a balance between being fascinated by civilization and absorption in Nature, haha! xx

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  5. Hope you do manage to squeeze in some "play" and/or "rest" time every day, Marion, because I don't like what our bodies do when we don't listen to them!

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    1. Ahhh, you'd think I'd have learned that lesson by now, haha! And I'm of an age now where slowing down a little will only benefit me.

      And so it will be. I hope the migraines you have have slowed down as well. xx

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  6. Sorry to hear about Graham's emergency on top of your own health issues. It's difficult to keep our minds in a settled state when our bodies keep screaming obscenities at us. May you both find some relief soon.

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    1. Thank you, Linda...it's been a very busy week with Graham being ill. He had an allergic reaction to one of the antibiotics and had huge red welts, so after another trip to the hospital, where they changed meds and flushed him out again, he's back home and hopefully recovering completely now.

      I'm staying in my pyjamas today, haha...xx

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  7. Before you can take time for anything or anyone else you must take time for you. You must fill yourself up with self love. A love that goes into your heart and your soul and keep filling yourself with this emotion until it overflows and when it overflows and flows out to all around you then it comes back and the world and the energy returns. We all have had these times of stress in our lives and when we learn the lessons that come with the experience we have a little lighter step a knowing that all is well no matter what physical aliment is being housed in our body. Take time to be you.

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    1. Thanks so much for your comment, Dave, it's very beautiful. First I have to find the time to slow down, though, and I'm hoping this weekend will be quiet. Graham's on the mend, I think, and I really need to go out and work in the garden a bit. Work in the garden always settles me down...xx

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  8. slowing down is SUCH a good idea. Give yourself time and peace and you will recover.

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    1. You, too, Mim...you've been very busy yourself! So we shall take some time, find peace, and recover together...xx

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  9. i am rushing around until i can come here to linger, but i want you to know i love you and i am glad you have a new beautiful home, even if the leaves are slippery.

    love always
    kj

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    1. Haha...slow down and enjoy, kj! Life seems to be speeding up for many of us these days. Talk with you soon! xx

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  10. hello, i'm back. i just reread my comment and i'm impressed with my double meaning, 'even if the leaves are slippery.' you've done some leaving, marion, and that alone is hard enough. moving is one of the top stressful things. i was overwhelmed and cried when JB and i moved this last time.

    i do think heart should win out and i'm glad you mostly agree. the thing is, your heart left to its own devices will be generous enough to allow time for fixing up rooms and cleaning up yards. don't forget my Mother's approach: a wall at a time. she didn't see what a whole needed because that was too demanding. she just took care of one wall at a time :^)

    yes, talk soon xo

    love
    kj

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  11. It seems reasonable for a church to sit on a four-way corner but when that same building becomes a home there would, indeed, be traffic difficulties. Looks like you have exchanged cars and trucks for wolves and bears. A new environment so different from the previous one would definitely require adjustment. And when it comes to unpacking … where to start is always the question. I would lend you a magic wand if I could. :))

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  12. Hi, pleased that you are sttling in. Yes there is so much to do and if your'e like me you want to get the house organised as you want it, quickly, but it takes time. It will also take some time to get used to urban noise after the quiet of the countryside but you will. Lots of new adventures to look forward to Marion, so good luck.

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  13. hi marion, hope you have rested well. been thinking of you. wishing that you are happy in your new home. and those orbs are amazing! :)

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  14. oh how I wish I could sit beside you and open those boxes and find the rightful place for each cherished object.

    Makes sense, the comment about a church being at a busy intersection. Who ever thought back then it would become a home?

    Yes, listen to heart♥ Body will get very demnading if you stop listening to her, but for now, follow what your heart says.

    Would you please email me your new snail mail address? I love sending the occasional card ;)

    xo
    Lo♥

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  15. Big rocks are good!
    Nice to hear that you are settling into the new spaces. Many things to do and explore there.
    With your positive attitude the days will be fun.
    Keep writing, I'll keep reading, my friend.

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  16. Great content. Thanks for keeping the conversation going. Check out my Siddha Guru’s free international event, the Global Turiya Peace Initiative:

    The present is created by you. Release your fears. Manifest your dreams for a better future.

    http://pranashakty.org/events/global-thuriya-meditation/

    This event begins at 00:00 GMT on both December 12th & 20th, 2012 and lasts for 24 hours. Reykjavík, Iceland = GMT time. You may convert your time at: http://www.timezoneconverter.com/cgi-bin/tzc.tzc

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  17. Happy New Year dear Marion and thank you for your absolutely lovely present!! May 2013 hold nothin and your loved ones, M :)) xxx

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  18. Marion, your house looks really awesome. I really hope nobody does any damage by driving too fast.

    -Ben

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  19. Marion, you came to see me! I hoped that meant that you had a new post up.

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    1. I am in the midst of a new post...I want to be good and ready for writing again when I return. Too much is happening all around me...we just sold our home in the Cariboo...for my mind to settle down enough to write. But I am beginning to really miss blogging...

      All is well, pain is so much reduced from living in the North I am in awe. The climate I find myself in is a thing to marvel at all on its own!

      And I've been reading the majority of your posts over this whole period of time, just not commented much...xx

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  20. Life is getting faster and faster in the modern world. If we don't learn to slow down and get back in touch with nature, we will lose touch with the very source that gives us life. (Nicely laid out blog. A smaller font would make it a little easier to read :) )

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  21. Yes Life is getting faster... i live this post, beautiful picture.

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  22. Hey Marison, I would just say that people Sit down on a rock and Get comfortable with the surroundings, and really take in the sounds and the feel of everything around them. Just need to close the eyes, and picture in the mind the nature that surrounds. The point is to sense that you are in a beautiful place.

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